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An Industry is Dying in America!

(Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

We are in a full-on crisis situation! At least those of you with some sort of affection for clowns. Apparently there is a drought of young people wanting to enter the fray of makeup, juggling, and unbelievably large shoes.

The president of Clowns of America International claims “What happens is they go on to high school and college and clowning isn’t cool anymore” he said. “Clowning is then put on the back burner until their late 40s and early 50s.”

Sure. It could be that it’s uncool. Or it could be that–even to people without diagnosed caulrophobia–clowns are unpleasant-looking at best and legitimately horrifying at worst.

But, as always, I have a scheme to get the clown population back where it should (?) be. You guessed it:

(Photo by Carlo Allegri/Getty Images)

That’s right: the Insane Clown Posse. More specifically, their fans. There’s a whole legion of underemployed, enterprising young individuals who are looking for excuses to wear clown makeup. Sure you’ll have to make sure they leave their axes at home, but such is a small price to pay for the continuation of an institution like clowning.

Good luck, clown community. And godspeed.

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