Look, it's no secret that the Knicks are in a bit of a rough patch. Well... a rough few years. Okay a rough decade and a half. But they don't have to be! In fact, rather than try these really drastic and strange moves that the organization has occasionally attempted, I have a very basic solution:

Sign me as point guard.

This year, their newly-acquired guard, Derrick Rose, will be in the top ten highest-paid players in the NBA. He will be looking at over $20 million. TWENTY MILLION. That's this many zeroes:

0000000

That's so many zeroes.

Unfortunately, zero is also how much of an impact this move will have on the performance of the Knicks this season. So, if you're not getting any kind of production, why spend $20 million? I've got a much more cost-effective solution:

For more of my basketball-related plans, check out my failed campaign to become a collegiate head coach (history did not look kindly upon their decision not to hire me):

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