Ding ding.. Condom Delivery!
Perhaps you’ve been in a situation where you unexpectedly need a condom. Maybe you were in the midst of an intimate moment and you didn’t realize you had run out. Maybe you were working on some kind of condom-based art project. Whatever.
Well, fear not! There is a condom delivery service that’s already launched in LA and San Francisco, now coming to the East Coast. In one hour, you can go from desperate and panicked to doing… well, you know.
You think this is a great idea, but what happens in the awkward time when you’re at your apartment waiting for the condoms to show up? You’re doing your thing, having a good time and then you realize: “Oh I don’t have the required accessory for this activity.” So you call this number and you have to either continue the buildup for an hour or somehow kill the weird, awkward hour-long time between when you were making out and when the condoms actually arrive.
“So you think they’ll find that Malaysian plane? Cool, cool. So you a Knicks fan or more of a Nets kind of gal? Oh, you only follow water polo? That’s… cool.”
Nothing shuts down good times like small talk. It’s the ejection seat for your genitals.