How To Handle The ‘Star Wars’ Crowds This Weekend
Star Wars: The Last Jedi hits theaters this weekend, and it's amazing. Movie theaters are going to be packed all weekend long, filled with people in Jedi cloaks seeing the movie for the second, third, and fourth time. It's an awesome movie that true Star Wars fans are going to love... but what if you're not a Star Wars fan, and want to go see a movie this weekend?
For those of you who really want to see Ferdinand this weekend (I'm sure you're out there!), here's some advice for how to navigate those pesky crowds of smelly nerds. First of all, buy your tickets online. The line for Star Wars will be out the door. You may have to pay an extra couple of bucks, but it'll be worth it to avoid waiting on line for thirty minutes and potentially missing the start of your movie.
Second, if you're seeing it at a mall, do not park near the movie theater. This is a rookie move, because the movie theater parking lot will likely be filled to capacity and you'll drive around for ten minutes looking for a spot, before finally settling for one way in the back and then you'll have to walk in the cold. Park near a mall entrance - if you're at the Poughkeepsie Galleria, the parking garage is perfect.
Finally, and this is important: just make up fake Star Wars spoilers and shout them if you see a Star Wars fan approach. "Rey is the daughter of Watto and Kit Fisto!" "IG-88 was Snoke in disguise!" They will avoid you like the plague, and you can go to your showing of Ferdinand in peace.
Good luck, and may the Force be with you.