Kate Upton: “I Hate My Boobs”

That right there is Kate Upton. You might know her from films like Tower Heist or The Three Stooges. You might know her from the wisdom bombs she drops on Twitter. You might know her from... uh... 2011 Taco Bell All-Star Legends & Celebrity Softball Game?

Look, let's be honest: you know her from her wonderful, majestic breasts.

Welp, as it turns out, Ms. Upton is no fan of them: "I wish I had smaller boobs every day of my life... If I could just take them off like they were clip-ons."

Sure, I understand. I mean, if I had an asset that earned me tens of millions of dollars, unimaginable travel opportunities, international fame, a blossoming film career, and a wildly successful and accomplished $180 million contract-having athlete for a significant other, I would be upset too. Infuriated. Who wants all that stuff?

Kate Upton complaining about her boobs is like spitting on Van Gogh's Starry Night. I guess the rest of us will just have to love them even more to make up for her hatred of them.