Man Calls 911 Because His Girlfriend Won’t Have Sex With Him

I don't think that's what emergency phone lines are meant to be used for, sir.

You've read the headline already. Do I need to go on and elaborate? Do I need to tell you that the man was reportedly drunk?

All you need to do is check out the story below, dive into a world where everything is backward and insane, nothing makes sense, and a guy thinks that calling an emergency phone number will help him get laid. It's really the exact sort of story for which It Came From The Internet was designed.

In case you've been slacking hardcore and aren't up to date on the latest in It Came From The Internet stories, don't worry; instead of judging you harshly--although I should--I'm going to be benevolent and just get you all of them right here below for your listening and sometimes cringing enjoyment.