The Swiss Cheese Pervert on the Loose

I have a very live and let live philosophy about most things in life. Whatever you like, like it. Good for you. Go nuts.

I don't care what anyone does in their personal lives as long as it doesn't affect anyone else. But when it does, there's a problem.

And when you're victimizing not just people, but finely-crafted dairy products? You're a monster that needs to be locked away forever.

Such is the story with the Swiss Cheese Pervert, a man who is apparently wanted by the Philadelphia police. What has he done to deserve not just the ire of the police, but also such a specific moniker? Well, driving around the city, pantsless, inviting women in nearby cars to perform sexual acts upon you with a slice of Swiss cheese you just happen to have lying around your sedan will do it!

So what does this winner look like?

This officially cements my status as a Muenster man.