Somehow I've managed to use this dopey photo in multiple blog entries! (Photo by Columbia Pictures)
Somehow I've managed to use this dopey photo in multiple blog entries! (Photo by Columbia Pictures)
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This song was everywhere in the summer of 2000. It was inescapable. And, like our first Video Time-Warp, this jam was featured on the soundtrack to the forgettable Jason Biggs/Mena Suvari vehicle Loser in the same year.

So, the premise to video about this song about someone who is in a dysfunctional relationship is apparently that the band is getting mobbed by the LaDiEs~* And how could they not, when every single member of the band is wearing a choker and the singer Mitch Allan is wearing colored pleather flared pants?

Oh wait what? Queen homage out of nowhere circa 1:25? Okay. Seems to be out of canon with the rest of the video, but I'll go along with it. Oh hey, motorized Razor Scooters. And you thought the gigantic hoop earrings were the most late-90s thing about this video.

(Photo by Ana Elisa Fuentes/Getty Images)
(Photo by Ana Elisa Fuentes/Getty Images)
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I searched Getty Images for "Bohemian Rhapsody" and all that showed up was photos from a 2005 Elle Girl swimsuit fashion show with that name, so please enjoy this completely, 100% gratuitous photo of a model's butt.

I'll give you a second.

Fine, I'll give you another second.

Okay, we cool now? Back to the video:

 

 

"Thanks for the haircut, SR-71!" (Photo by Dr. Billy Ingram/Getty Images)
"Thanks for the haircut, SR-71!" (Photo by Dr. Billy Ingram/Getty Images)
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You might not realize it, but this video is of historical significance. This was the birthplace of something that changed the world forever: the Kate Gosselin haircut. I hope Mitch Allan from SR-71 is collecting royalties from her and the Long Island Medium.

I say I hope that because then we can all collectively file a class action suit against him for spawning such an offensive and irritating haircut. Seriously, prior to that thing over there, I never knew it was possible to actually have a seething, unbridled hatred for a haircut. Now I know.

So, now we're coming to the end of the video. No major developments, just scooters and chokers.

Wha-whaaaaat?! IT WAS ALL A DREAM?! They aren't really crazy heartthrobs and are actually in a crappy van in some dead-end parking lot in Van Nuys? I feel like I've been lied to by SR-71's self-deprecating sense of humor!

To make up for that wack-as-hell ending, I'm going to leave you with a photo of the SR-71 Blackbird, the cool-ass aircraft the band was named for:

(Photo by NASA)
(Photo by NASA)
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Well, this video is almost 15 years old now. I'm going to go clutch a VHS copy of Loser while crying and rocking back and forth uncontrollably. And, as always kids, stay off my lawn.

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