Wonders of the Web: BANGS [VIDEO]

Let's take a look back at some of the treasures that the Internet has given us in the form of insane music videos. This week, a classic from a man named BANGS.

The thing about hip-hop is that everyone thinks they can do it. I once read a description of the culture as a postmodern pastiche of existing material formed into something new. I won't get into the discussion of social or artistic merit, but I will say that anyone else who loves hip-hop as a culture and genre should be sending Edible Arrangements to BANGS for proving that no, not anyone can do it.

If you missed the BANGS phenomenon circa 2010--and yes, to quote DOOM on the classic Madvillain album: "all caps when you spell the man's name"--let's get you caught up: BANGS is a young man from the Sudan who moved to Australia and decided to pursue the glamorous life of a rapper. Y'know, just your standard hip-hop fairytale.

But to reduce BANGS to just another wannabe rapper is to ignore his other passions: enjoying films with numerous women while living a luxurious lifestyle. He's basically a 2010s Orson Welles.

All right, let's just break this thing down:

There's just so much here. So much to sink your teeth into. I have to commend his opening; when you dedicate a song to "all the ladies out there who like to go to the movies," you're really hedging your bets. Cast a wide net out there, my man. What lovely young woman doesn't like to go to the movies? I see you BANGS. Pro move.

He goes on to explain, in incredibly specific detail, what their date to the movies would entail. His willingness and ability to literally rap exactly what he would do on a completely mundane date with an unnamed "shawty" is unparalleled. I know I compared him to Orson Welles, but if we're talking about iconic artistic figures, he is really more the Charles Dickens of hip-hop.

Plus, not since Lil Wayne arrived has a laugh been so iconic. I don't care if you just got fired, got a paper cut the length of the Canadian border, and then found out everyone on your fantasy football team had a career ending injury, the laugh of BANGS will heal all of what ails you.

I hope you liked the movie
Cause I did, too
Any time you want to go again
Just holla at me

 

Let's take this quick set of bars and analyze them as a microcosm of this entire song. They show the smooth, pressure-free pace at which BANGS pursues his female companion. Hey, you wanna chill with BANGS more? Just holla at him. This incredible experience speaks for itself. No need to press her for date #2; she'll be back. Don't worry, she'll be back.

This song and video open the door to a lot of questions about the human experience, like:

• Must you rhyme to be a rapper?
• How much denim can one human wear?
• HOW DOES THAT HAT STAY ON HIS HEAD?

The best part about the boy BANGS is that he has absolutely no interest in actually rapping. He has no time to figure out rhythms or internal rhyme schemes; he's busy Google image searching photos of money to put on his green screen and taking shawties to the movie.

Oh look, he's rapping in front of a roulette wheel.

BANGS is, in all seriousness and sincerity, an actual inspiration. The dude wanted to rap and make a music video and he wasn't going to let something like being completely devoid of a budget, an ear for beats, and talent get in the way of 10 million (!!!) YouTube views.

Okay so maybe that is the absolute worst, most backhanded compliment. But I mean it. I support you, BANGS. Have fun taking a shawty--or shawties--to Jurassic World or whatever this weekend.

If you have any favorite bad music videos, send them on over: Deuce@WRRV.com

To get caught up on previous Wonders of the Web, just click here.