In South Coventry, Pennsylvania, a Catholic priest is accused of diverting over $40,000 from the church to fuel his love for mobile games.

This headline hits close to home for me.

Lawrence Kozak, as stated by Pennsylvania State Police, allegedly spent these funds on games like "Wizard of Oz" slots and Candy Crush Saga—

Two games in which I'm also deeply invested. My obsession with these games knows no bounds, with me reaching level 8833 in Candy Crush and level 548 in Wizard of Oz slots, placing me among the top players in the world...jealous?

The alleged misuse of church funds spanned from September 2019 to June 2022, with over 2,000 transactions marked as "gaming."- as reported by CBS News

Kozak's defense, is that he wasn't in fact gambling but simply "powering up."

Yes, "powering up"—what a way with words, Your Highness... Your eminence?

I'm unsure.

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Kozak was formally arrested on April 25 and charged with theft by unlawful taking, failing to make the required disposition of funds, and accessing a device he was unauthorized to.

Father Kozak remains on administrative leave.

Administrative leave sounds like you’ve got some extra time on your hands, sir.

Father Kozak, I understand you, in this trying time. In between jobs as I recently found myself, may I offer you some communion?


I'm on level 732 of GOT Slots, and it's precisely what you're looking for. More levels, better in-game pricing on coins, and lest ye forget. DRAGONS. Divine Salvation, This app truly has it all.

In the end, Father Kozak, our shared passion for mobile gaming and embezzlement remains one of the few resemblances I've ever had with a man of the cloth.


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