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Deuce Debunks: Violate My Privacy. Please.

PRIVACY NOTICE: Warning – any person and/or institution and/or Agent and/or Agency of any governmental structure including but not limited to the United States Federal Government also using or monitoring/using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including, but not limited to my photos, and/or the comments made about my photos or any other “picture” art posted on my profile. You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action against me with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee, agent, student or any personnel under your direction or control. The contents of this profile are private and legally privileged and confidential information, and the violation of my personal privacy is punishable by law.

I’m fairly certain we’ve all seen something similar to the above in our newsfeeds at some point or another. Some well-meaning but quasi-paranoid friend hopes to protect his privacy. Now, look, I have absolutely no problem with a healthy distrust of The Man. In fact, I’m all for it. But… come on.

This is the legal source I used for reference on this blog post. (Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images)

To badly paraphrase Shawn Carter: I ain’t passed the bar, but I know a lil’ bit and posting a Facebook status seems like the least legally binding thing on planet earth.

Remember that nice, big block of text that showed up when you signed up for Facebook labeled “Terms and Conditions“? No? Right, you clicked right past it. Well, that actually covers exactly what we’re talking about here.

Anyone who uses Facebook owns and controls the content and information they post, as stated in our terms. They control how that content and information is shared. That is our policy, and it always has been. Click here to learn more – www.facebook.com/policies.

So that solves the dilemma of signing over the rights to your content.

Now for that fancy law jargon: it’s nonsense and does nothing to protect you from the government or anyone else.

Here’s what confuses the hell out of me: why do you think anyone wants anything you’ve posted on your page? Are you creating such unbelievably dynamic content that you’re afraid of Facebook or someone else cashing in on your creativity and time? No. You’re probably just clicking “Share” on a photo of a cat doing something cute or a meme involving Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings or some other show/movie involving swords or dragons or elf sex or whatever.

If you are tremendously proud and protective of what you have on your Facebook page, perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to share it on a public forum in the first place.

By the way, in all likelihood, the government already knows or could very easily find out everything they could ever hope to know about you and your private life, Facebook or not.

(Photo by George Marks/Getty Images)

Sorry that I had to ruin your fake law decree.

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