Man Eats Entire Taco Bell Dollar Menu, Lives to Tell About It

This guy ate the entire Taco Bell dollar menu in ONE SITTING just to let you know what's worth your cash.

First, let's talk about the new Taco Bell Dollar Cravings menu. I was already under the impression that for $3 and a mediocre sketch drawing of a chihuahua you were entitled to the entirety of Taco Bell's menu, but apparently they're making it even more affordable for you.

What's on this menu? A Cinnabon 2-pack, a spicy tostada, beef Fritos burrito, triple layer nachos? I'm already having some dollar cravings just thinking about it (judge me, I don't care).

So now we turn to the hero of this story, the man who risked gastronomical safety to let you know what on the menu is worth your time. His story is here.

Like many inspirational figures, his journey to immortality was not one without hardship:

I feel like John Hurt in Alien, but without the pleasant dinner conversation. I'm not proud of what I've done, but I hope the sacrifices I've made will help you live a more bountiful and frugal existence.

I hold my stomach and drift into a nap, imagining with my last waking thoughts that a medical examiner is standing over my akimbo corpse, shaking his head while my ghost silently screams: "No! This wasn't how I lived! I did yoga on Saturdays!"

The verdict? Stay away from the useless cheese roll-up, the bean and rice burrito (unless you're vegetarian), and go in on the spicy tostada and triple layer nachos.

Welp, I'm on board. See you guys at the drive-thru.