Okay, well, sort of.

Yesterday was the 2014 NBC Universal Cable Upfronts event, and I managed to find myself there. They trot out the stars of the shows on NBC, Bravo, USA, SyFy, Oxygen, E!, all those channels, Giuliana Rancic does E! News, and all that.

I learned that everyone on TV is absurdly thin. It's not an exaggeration that people in Hollywood are skinny; I'm pretty sure I actually saw organs functioning on some people they were so thin. I also learned that Joel McHale is an awesome, nice dude. Among some of the other people I saw were Joan Rivers, Michelle Williams from Destiny's Child, Padma Lakshmi, the Shahs of Sunset, a bunch of Real Housewives I don't know anything about, and then... Most importantly, I have the answer to one of life's great mysteries:

Is Kim Kardashian's ass really that big?

Yes. Yes it is. However, and this is a huuuuuge however--or a huge but if you will--Khloe Kardashian's ass is not only bigger than Kim's, it is bigger than KIM.

Kim is very tiny and when it comes to Khloe's butt? You could rest a beer, a PS4 controller, your keys, your mail, your jacket, your MacBook, three phone books, and still have enough room to take a nap on that thing. There are planets orbiting it. It could do anything. Her butt is the Swiss Army knife of asses.

For more photos, check out my Instagram: DeuceRadio.