Why Do Women Want Equality but Still Expect Men to Pay on Dates?

A Confusing Situation

As a guy trying to figure out dating today, I often find myself asking: why do many women push for equality but still expect men to pay for dinner on a first date? This question has been on my mind, especially after a recent experience.

A Memorable First Date

I went out with Jessica, someone I was really looking forward to meeting. We went to a nice restaurant, and I enjoyed every moment—her laughter and stories made the evening special. But when the bill came, I automatically reached for it. It felt like the right thing to do, but I couldn’t help but wonder: if she values equality, why would she want me to pay?

When I paid, she smiled and thanked me, but I started to feel uneasy. Did my gesture imply that I saw her as less capable? I thought we were both on the same page about wanting an equal relationship.

Talking It Out

After a few more dates, I decided to bring it up. I asked Jessica why, if she wanted equality, she was okay with me paying. To my surprise, she admitted that she liked being treated sometimes but also believed in splitting the costs as we got to know each other better. This conversation made me realize that many women appreciate the traditional gesture of a man paying, but they also want fairness.

Finding a Balance

I learned that it’s all about finding a balance. Many women enjoy being treated but also value equality in their relationships. The key is to communicate openly about what both partners want.

My experience has made me think more about the mixed signals in dating today. While I fully support gender equality, it’s important to discuss expectations about who pays. By having these conversations, we can create a dating dynamic that feels right for both people. In the end, it’s the connection we build that matters most, not just who picks up the check.