I’m Locked In The Poughkeepsie McDonalds For 24 Hours Because I Lost Fantasy Football

Let me start by saying: I used to be good at fantasy football.

I’ve won leagues, taken home cash prizes, and even talked a fair amount of trash over the years. But these last few seasons?

Brutal. Punishing, even.

I’m in a few different leagues, but my favorite is a 12-person league with friends I met through the University of Hartford’s Hartt School Theater Department.

Now, full disclosure, I didn’t actually go to HARTT —I was too old by the time I met these guys—but I lived and partied with them for years.

We’re talking singers, dancers, actors, directors, musicians, playwrights, and producers, all ridiculously talented and successful in their own ways.

A few years ago, we decided to add some spice to our fantasy football league.

 A last-place punishment.

In addition to the usual cash prizes for the top three finishers, we enacted a rule that the loser had to endure one of two punishments.

The options? Compete in a half marathon… nope.

Or spend 24 hours in a restaurant. I loved the idea because, at that point, I was always a middle-of-the-pack or better player. Until now.

Fast forward to the end of the 2023 season, and there I was: dead last.

My choice is clear—no way am I running a half marathon. So, it will be 24 hours in a McDonald’s for me.

The catch? I can shave time off my sentence by eating various menu items. The more I eat, the quicker I get out.

Here’s how the time deductions work:

• Big Breakfast with Hotcakes: 120 minutes off your time (2 hours!)
• Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese: 60 minutes off (1 hour).
• Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit: 45 minutes off.
• Chicken McNuggets (10-piece): 30 minutes off.
• Medium Fries: 30 minutes off.
• Ice Cream or Milkshake: 25 minutes off.

But wait—there’s a twist!

A stipulation, if you will, that could have me regretting every trash-talking moment of my fantasy football career.

For every $200 donated to the WRRV Shop with a Cop program, 15 minutes is added to my sentence!

Yep, while I’m busy scarfing down Big Macs to earn my freedom, generous donations could keep me locked in that McDonald’s booth Indefinitely

Why $200?

Because that’s what it takes to sponsor one child’s magical day at the Poughkeepsie Galleria for WRRV’s Shop with a Cop.

On one hand, it’s a great cause, and I’m all for helping kids. On the other hand, I might need to start training my stomach now.

So join Ryan Roberts & Matthew James this Wednesday, 12/18/24, at the Route 9 McDonald’s.

Donate here and make a note  +15 minutes at Mcdonalds.