I've written posts on this website about the Beer Mile in the past; the general idea is that every quarter mile, you drink a beer in its entirety and see if you can break the record. It's crazy. Not drinking and running, that's a fairly common occurrence. But drinking and then running a sub-5:00 mile is an absolutely wild idea to me.

But it's not a wild idea to 81-year-old grandmother Elvira Montes--a/k/a your new hero--who ran the Beer Mile in 20:24, knocking back 4 KCCO Gold Lagers from Resignation Brewery in the process. Here's what she had to say about her accomplishment:

“I should have been a little faster,” Montes told Runner’s World, disappointed in her chugging performance. “I tried to drink the first one really fast but I couldn’t. The second one went down really smooth; the third, even better. The fourth was alright.”

She outran her kids in the event and, as though you didn't already love an 81-year-old lady who ran a mile with 4 beers in her, Runner's World also included this incredible bit of info about this woman:

Montes promised to make a return appearance next year and hopes to break 20 minutes. To train, she plans to drink a beer while on the treadmill.

But, after crossing the finish line with a mile in her legs and four beers in her stomach, Montes was not thinking about her next race. She was ready to celebrate. So, she took her daughter to Hooters. They had chicken wings and Scotch.

Elvira Montes for president, y'all.