Masked Naked Man Pouring Milk on Himself at Walmart Wanted By Police [VIDEO]

It might be the most wonderful headline I'll ever get a chance to write, and it's also as real as it is insane.

Yes, a man ran through a Walmart completely naked with a Halloween mask on, screaming "I'm on fire!" and dumping milk on himself.

Proof:

According to WYMT in Kentucky:

Sheriff's deputies said they plan to arrest Timothy Smith of Phelps and David Daniels of Belfry in connection to the incident at the Walmart in South Williamson.

Walmart shoppers saw more than they were looking for when a man stripped down and ran through the store in nothing but shoes, socks and a Halloween mask.

Scott said the streaker and camera operator are both guilty of indecent exposure and believes the prank was planned.

Sheriff's deputies are trying to track down the getaway driver, who waited for the streaker to get into a red car before driving away.

 

I love that they're treating this like it was a bank heist. THE PERPS ARE AT LARGE, WE GOTTA GET THAT GETAWAY DRIVER!

This thing is funny and weird and awesome and wouldn't even crack my top 5 of Weirdest Things I've Seen at a Walmart.

The oddest part about this: Pike County is a dry county. So, theoretically, alcohol was not involved.