Some Poor Sap Lost His Job for This

Sports fans should be familiar with Deadspin. It's a site that's broken tons of major news stories, mocked even more, and offered analysis of sports that most major sports journalists are unwilling or incapable of providing.

It's also the source of beautiful, glorious irreverence and people with incredible personality disorders.

So when the Chicago Cubs unveiled their new mascot, Deadspin leaped at the opportunity to violate him in all possible ways.

And because there must be some kind of higher power that loves us and wants us to be happy, Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic broadcasted one of these aforementioned violated versions of the Cubs' new mascot.

Thank you higher power. Thank you Deadspin. Thank you underpaid and overworked research intern who grabbed the wrong photo. Bless us, everyone.