What Do You Do With All Those Apples You Pick?
We all know that this time of year in the Hudson Valley is based around apple-picking. People come from far and wide, from all regions and corners of the Northeast to explore and enjoy the bounty of incredible apples that we have to offer here in the...er, Big Apple.
Wait, does "Big Apple" just mean New York City? If so, that's absolute lunacy. All the apples are up here, man.
People come from far and wide, from all regions and corners of the Northeast to explore and enjoy the bounty of incredible apples
Anyway, you've probably gone apple picking.
And one of the fun parts of apple picking is going through the trees, finding ones that are the perfect shape and size, aesthetically pleasing, and loading your bag up with them.
Maybe you did the pre-paid bag deal where you pay for the bag and then fill it with as many apples as it can hold. Maybe you went and bought a bag of apples that were already picked.
You're confronted with a nearly overflowing bag. It's taunting you and your inability to eat 75 pounds of apples
So then you find yourself at home, with this sack of apples. You eat a couple of them.
Then a day or so goes by and you're confronted with a gigantic, nearly overflowing bag filled with apples. It's taunting you and your inability to eat 75 pounds of apples and your naive belief that you could ever actually find a functional use for all of this produce.
So what do you do?
Here are some ideas:
Sure, this is the obvious answer.
There is no question to which 'pie' is not the correct answer
But I will maintain forever and always that there is no question to which "pie" is not the correct answer. It might not be the most correct answer; if someone asks you in a panic how to re-set a compound fracture, "pie" might not be as good as actual medical advice... but it's not wrong.
I'll bet that guy who has the compound fracture would feel a lot better about it if he was eating some pie to take his mind off of it. Boom. Theory proven indisputable.
Open a Cidery
Okay, so this one is a little bit more involved. You have to find investment capital, real estate, a business plan, a recipe, budget marketing...
But if you do end up doing it, you might end up with an incredibly good-looking gentleman enjoying the fruits of your labor (pun intended so hard):
Learn How to Throw a Knuckleball
When thrown properly, the knuckleball is one of the most perplexing and devastating tricks in a pitcher's arsenal.
Learn how to harness the power of the knuckleball. Plus, it looks cool when you throw an apple against a tree and the thing explodes.
You ever watch someone throw a knuckleball? That thing dances all over the place like some kind of floating, drunken pill in the air. And you don't even need to throw it all that hard; it's all about the grip you use.
Learn how to harness the power of the knuckleball by using an apple, which has a much more manageable weight distribution than a baseball. Plus, it looks cool when you throw an apple against a tree and the thing explodes.
All right so maybe the last one isn't feasible, but whatever. What's your method of choice?