Woody Allen is one of the most iconic directors in the history of American cinema. Having directed almost 50 films (!) since the 1960s, the man has done everything from goofy comedies to surreal explorations of the history of culture to heartbreaking films about interpersonal relationships and strife. His style is incredibly distinct, and--despite many controversies throughout his life and career--he's revered by many as being among the greatest talents the medium has ever seen from a writing and directing standpoint.

So, when I found out he was filming in a location that's a short drive from where I live (a film starring Kristin Stewart, Jesse Eisenberg, and Steve Carell, among others), well, I realized I needed to throw my hat into the mix:

C'mon, Woody. Give my show a listen and realize that I'm perfect for your movies.

And, in case you're not a Seinfeld fan, here's why I was shouting about pretzels like an idiot.

Costanza for life.