Joe Raedle/Getty
Joe Raedle/Getty

Ever wanted a custom Burger King wine that pairs perfectly with your Whopper? Too bad, Burger King made one anyway.

Hot on the heels of the brand new black bun Halloween Whopper, the burger chain has also formulated a wine that features the notes of a fire-grilled barrel (of course) and is designed to match up with the flavor profile of the chain's signature sandwich. Yeah, I called a burger a sandwich. I can't use "burger" every time I mention the thing throughout this article, lest we have to see "burger" so many times that we begin to question if "burger" even remains a real word. Burger. Burger burger. So deal with it, sandwich purists.

Somehow, something this wildly over-the-top and American is unavailable in the United States. I know. It's an outrage. At present, it's exclusively available in Spain. Here's the incredibly serious commercial for your enjoyment:

I really have no idea what the rules of the world are anymore.