Honestly, there are few things more monstrous and awful and repugnant as men attacking women in any way. It's disgusting, it's appalling, and really, it's inexcusable.

Now, imagine getting to that point--where you're so upset about something that you would commit an act that was disgusting, appalling, and inexcusable--over a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. No, seriously. Over a stupid peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Well, we don't have to imagine it, because some cretin in Florida (allegedly) did just that. Check out the story below to find out what happens when an absolute lunatic can't get his jelly fix.

Plus, a bonus conversation on the hierarchy of sandwiches, and which progressive or garage rock bands correspond with which sandwich. As I always say, hey, one thing is for sure: you're absolutely not getting this sort of thing from Ryan Seacrest.