Man Arrested For Assaulting Mother With Potato Salad

The picnic classic has turned into a weapon.

A 34-year-old man in Florida--allegedly intoxicated--found himself in the midst of an argument with his mother and did what any drunk, irrational person would do: pelt her with a side dish.

Jonathan Smith, 34, was arrested Saturday evening after his mother Jennifer told cops that he attacked her as she sat down to eat dinner (potato salad and chicken) in the living room.

“Jonathan grabbed a hand full of potato salad and threw it,” striking his mother in the face, reported cops, who noted that the woman had “food all over her and in her hair” when they arrived at the residence. Though his mother yelled for him to stop, Smith “continued to throw food at his mother,” according to a probable cause affidavit.

After pelting his mother with grub, Smith allegedly pushed her to the ground, pulled her across the floor by her legs, and “spitted on her.”

 

Welp, there you have it: yet another story of food products being used for evil. When will the madness stop?

One of the more disturbing elements about posting this story is the fact that not only did I have a photo of potato salad ready to go, I actually had to make a decision as to which photo of potato salad I should use. This is the life I live.