McDonald's has unveiled their new-look Hamburglar.

 

McDonald's told Mashable that the Hamburglar “had some time to grow up a bit and has been busy raising a family in the suburbs and his look has evolved over time.”

I don't know about that, but if they were going for "Dude at every party who is trying to get everyone to come to another party where he can ostensibly get free beer and/or illicit substances," they NAILED it:

McDonald's

I don't like this at all. You've got kids, man. Your days of burgling burgers is over. Maybe start thinking about a respectable form of income. You've got a responsibility and a mortgage now. Get something with benefits.