Deuce Debunks: Violate My Privacy. Please.
I'm fairly certain we've all seen something similar to the above in our newsfeeds at some point or another. Some well-meaning but quasi-paranoid friend hopes to protect his privacy. Now, look, I have absolutely no problem with a healthy distrust of The Man. In fact, I'm all for it. But... come on.
To badly paraphrase Shawn Carter: I ain't passed the bar, but I know a lil' bit and posting a Facebook status seems like the least legally binding thing on planet earth.
Remember that nice, big block of text that showed up when you signed up for Facebook labeled "Terms and Conditions"? No? Right, you clicked right past it. Well, that actually covers exactly what we're talking about here.
Anyone who uses Facebook owns and controls the content and information they post, as stated in our terms. They control how that content and information is shared. That is our policy, and it always has been. Click here to learn more - www.facebook.com/policies.
So that solves the dilemma of signing over the rights to your content.
Now for that fancy law jargon: it's nonsense and does nothing to protect you from the government or anyone else.
Here's what confuses the hell out of me: why do you think anyone wants anything you've posted on your page? Are you creating such unbelievably dynamic content that you're afraid of Facebook or someone else cashing in on your creativity and time? No. You're probably just clicking "Share" on a photo of a cat doing something cute or a meme involving Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings or some other show/movie involving swords or dragons or elf sex or whatever.
If you are tremendously proud and protective of what you have on your Facebook page, perhaps it wasn't the best idea to share it on a public forum in the first place.
By the way, in all likelihood, the government already knows or could very easily find out everything they could ever hope to know about you and your private life, Facebook or not.
Sorry that I had to ruin your fake law decree.