I'm all for celebrating birthdays. Really, finding any excuse to celebrate (obviously the caveat being celebrating responsibly) is a good thing. Life is short, man! Enjoy yourself! Add some excitement to things!

Unless that excitement is hiring a sex worker to perform and twerk upon an 8-year-old. That's the kind of excitement that, while it has its place, is decidedly not meant for a second grader.

Call me old-fashioned, but perhaps a scantily clad adult shouldn't be grinding themselves against a kid who probably still carries a Teen Titans lunchbox to school (Ed. Note: We're fairly certain Deuce himself actually carries a Teen Titans lunchbox to work).

Check out the story below and marvel at the completely bonkers way that a mother expressed the love she has for her child.

And no, I don't have Teen Titans lunchbox. No comment on whether or not I have a Spider-Man one.