I can't imagine myself losing my mind over something Parmesan cheese related. I mean, I guess no one imagines themselves losing their minds over something Parmesan cheese related; when the situation strikes, it just happens. And I understand being unsatisfied or angry about bad service in a restaurant. Again, it just happens.

But there's a way to handle it. Perhaps you, say, talk to a manager about ironing out your grievances. Perhaps write a bad Yelp review (don't write a bad Yelp review). Maybe even tell people you know about your experience so that others don't have the same problems that you ran into.

I don't know, garlic knots and Parmesan just aren't on my shortlist of food items over which I'd commit several felonies. But we do discuss below which ones are, and coin a great name for my future goth band. Check it out below.