I can't wait to be an old guy. I'll get to tell kids how easy they have it and how tough it was for me growing up. I can lie about knowing all the cool famous people of my era and my grandkids won't know any better, because little kids don't know anything. I'll be able to just reach my hand into a bucket of candy at the super market and sample without anyone getting mad at me. I'll get to espouse all the insane thoughts that run through my head and people will just chalk it up to me being old and senile, so I'll be allowed to voice literally any opinion I have without judgment. Plus, all that old man strength.

The one thing I'm not looking forward to, though, is ramming my car into stuff and not realizing it, because that's always a side effect of being old. Like this lady.

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