Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Get your cops and doughnuts joke out of the way.

Good one, man. There, do you feel better now that it's out of your system? Okay, cool. Because we've got important work to do: now we can move on to why this guy is such a dope and wasted such a clutch opportunity to get something crazy out of his demands.

Seriously, if you were in a standoff with police, why wouldn't you go big? These crazy people always go for a pizza or, in this case, doughnuts. Why not make it count? Go big or go home, friend. Make your demand something outrageous.

Or, you could take the preferred route, and not actually get into a standoff with law enforcement. I mean, either way.

Check below for the story on this Arizona man gone mad. In the meantime, I'm going to imagine shoving myself face-first into that tray of doughnuts in the above image.