It's one thing to steal power tools from a store. It's another thing to do it twice. And we're in a completely different universe when you do it while clucking like a chicken.

I'm no crime expert, but one would think that an important aspect of being a criminal and, you know, getting away with your crimes is to avoid giving the authorities and your victims any distinguishing characteristics. Cover your face, cover your body so no one can identify skin blemishes, tattoos, scars, other such defining features. And definitely don't start clucking like a chicken, because that immediately narrows you down from "dude who tried to steal some drills" to "crazy dude who tried to steal some drills" and suddenly they whittle the lineup down to just you and the other guy with crazy eyes.

Check out the story below, with a bonus of my rendition of an entire scene from Reservoir Dogs.



In case you've been slacking hardcore and aren't up to date on the latest in It Came From The Internet stories, don't worry; instead of judging you harshly--although I should--I'm going to be benevolent and just get you all of them right here below for your listening and sometimes cringing enjoyment.